Relationships between parents and teens are almost always hard to manage, but with the right support – and the will of parents and the children they love – it’s not just possible to have a good relationship, it’s very likely.
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Our problems usually started with an argument. The argument would grow from there, and sometimes, it turned physical.
School was often a source for our conflicts and with the start of the school year approaching, we can’t help but think back to how bad things were and how good they have become.
Two years ago, our mother-daughter relationship hit a crisis point. The pandemic upended our lives. Then, Mom, a custodial worker, got injured on the job. Our relationship went from rocky to impossible. The two of us were cooped up in a small apartment. We battled anxiety and loneliness while trying to hold everything together.
Several times, law enforcement and caseworkers from the Administration for Children’s Services arrived, bringing with them the fear that our family could face separation.
As a mother, I took a bold step: I brought my daughter to Bellevue Hospital, hoping to find some kind of a lifeline. Incredibly, a compassionate nurse took an interest, giving us referrals to therapists. That is how we connected with JCCA – an organization that gave us the support we needed to improve our relationship and change our lives. Finding therapists today is hard and expensive. But there is a whole network of nonprofits like JCCA that make it possible for families to get the support they need.
We entered one of JCCA’s programs, specializing in counseling services to keep families together, and were assigned a therapist. She listened intently and allowed us to define our goals. She asked us where we wanted to see our relationship years from now.
Things didn’t get better overnight. In fact, we had a conflict in the office during an at-home family session. But our therapist patiently supported us. She checked in on us often. For over a year, we worked together to get to a better place. Therapy transformed our relationship.
We learned to communicate openly, empathize with each other’s pain, and embrace our vulnerability. We discovered patience and newfound strength in our bond. Our home became a haven of love and understanding, a far cry from the tension-filled days of the past.
We know many families out there yearn for the same connection. That’s why this spring, we stood in front of an audience of policymakers and health professionals and told our story publicly for the first time. And it is why we continue to tell it. Relationships between parents and teens are almost always hard to manage, but with the right support – and the will of parents and the children they love – it’s not just possible to have a good relationship, it’s very likely.
Rhonda and Sydney Morgan, a mother and daughter from Brooklyn, received therapy and are encouraging other families to do the same. JCCA can help those who need services.
